For modern times...
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
He was awarded a grand with Claims Direct.
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
and turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was bisexual
_________________
Bassets gone, and so has Wise, the cockney Tosser with the wobbly eyes
