cardboardbox?Youwerelucky
Niiiiii..!!
Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 1880
Location: lincolnshire
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 Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:53 pm Post subject: Re: A few things to think about!!!!! |
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| Tommo wrote: | Can you cry under water?
Yes I would think you can - if you are diving and a big fup off great white spies you I would imagine that the said scenario may induce weeping (as well as pissing however you didn't ask about that)
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassination is usually politically motivated or to target someone to murder due to their position or status.
Murder is the crime of unlawfully killing a person especially with malice forethought
Hence John Lennon was murdered despite being famous however Kennedy was assissinated as a political figure
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
[b]Current exchange rate is 2.02 dollars to the pound so that answers that one[/b]
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Once in heaven you are no longer "of human form" so clothes won't be needed
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Flat pack answer by Hair makes sense
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
In food preparation, curing refers to various preservation and flavoring processes, especially of meat or fish, by the addition of a combination of salt, sugar and either nitrate or nitrite. Many curing processes also involve smoking. The etymology of the term is unclear, but it is thought to derive from the same Latin cura, -ae, from which the other English meanings are also derived - so no disease actually existed
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
The moon landing was a politically motivated race between the russians and the americans to prove who were the more advanced super power and therefore putting wheels on luggage (which was patented in 2001 for the 4 wheel version) was probably not high on the agenda of the ruling administration in 1969 (although there is no denying that it is a good idea)
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
People should perhaps be more accurate and state that they "slept like a baby who had had all their bedtime food and didn't shit in their nappy and that stayed soundly asleep for the duration of the night" however this is less "catchy" - the relevance to the statement is more likely to be about babies sleeping through loud noises or not being disturbed rather than their specific sleep patterns (i.e. you can go into your babies room and put their clothes away in the wardrobe, move things around etc without them disturbing unlike an adult who would (usually) wake up to such activity (especially if they didn't know you or lived alone)
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Most courtrooms are fitted with induction loops including infra red facilities. deaf people need to tell the customer service officer at the court as soon as they know they will have to attend a hearing.
If they want, they may visit the courtroom before the case is heard to be certain the facility will help them. If the start of their case is called over a tannoy system and they feel this may be a problem, they let the person on the reception desk know this. If they require an interpreter, the customer service officer will arrange this for them. They should give them as much notice as possible - so yes it is still called a "hearing"
However a "hearing" is a formal procedure, with issues of fact or law to be tried, in which parties have a right to be heard.(and at which point a deaf person can still be heard as their impairment may not affect their speech or they may be able to use a translator to be "heard". It is similar to a trial and may result in a final order. Other examples of hearing are - a proceeding to determine an issue of fact on the basis of evidence available or The second level of appeal by one who disagrees with a Social Security Administration decision on a disability claim. Under the hearing level of appeal, a worker is entitled to apply to be heard by a judge.
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
A movie is a form of entertainment that enacts a story by sound and a sequence of images giving the illusion of continuous movement it requires actors to deliver these lines and "act" scenes to portray the story the movie is trying to represent and the director to organise the structure of the movie into a sequence that can be understood by the intended audience (with the exception of memento) - there people who appear in these movies are said to be "IN" the movie as they are part of the "staff" who are working for (on) this movie.
A television is an electronic apparatus that receives such signals, reproducing the images on a screen, and typically reproducing accompanying sound signals on speakers. When an image is projected (by its very definition a projection needs to be received by a solid object / device in order to be seen unless the projection is being made in a business plan type of definition - therefore it is projected "ON" to the television or ON to a wall) - therefore when an individual is seen appearing ON the television it is as a result of projection being made by the production company that made the programme in the first place
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
No idea - maybe they should just look at the same object with the binoculars turned around the other way
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
You may have stained (skid marked) underwear (much like Gopher) and therefore to let you retain a small amount of dignity before they ask you to take a deep breath and insert their finger they leave the room to allow you to hide you undercrackers without having to explain the reasons you have chocolate smeared in your underwear
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
It is mainly about the origins of the words (although it doesn't answer the question above) however "Bra" is short for "Brassiere," a French word that originally meant "a child's jacket with sleeves." It derives from an Old French word for "arms." Eventually, the word came to refer to the modern undergarment. Thus, by replacing one word with the other, we go from "a brassiere" (singular) to "a bra" (also singular).
"Panties" derives from the word "pants," which was shortened from the original word "pantaloons," another French word. "Pantaloons" originally referred to a general *style* or *class* of garments either worn in Venice or assumed to have originated there. (That word was further derived from Saint Pantaleon, the patron saint of Venice.)
Again, by replacement, "he's wearning pantaloons" (plural) became "he's wearing pants" (also plural).
This unfortunately doesn't explain why people chose to shorten the term "Pantaloons" to "Pants" rather than "Pant," nor why "Brassiere" wasn't shortened to "Bras" (even though that is the Old French word for "arms"). - although with Pantaloons the french word Pantalon IS singular
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
because some foods like a frozen waffle or a really thick frozen bagel take longer to cook and it wont burn THEM if you use the hot setting it will just cook them in a shorter time
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Scratch around and you'll find some interesting takes on this song. When I consulted Charlie Maddox, a musician in Shenandoah, Virginia. Maddox said "crack corn" came from the old English term "crack," meaning gossip, and that "cracking corn" was a traditional Shenandoah expression for "sitting around chitchatting." Maddox claimed "Jimmy Crack Corn" was an abolitionist song, and that "blue-tail fly" referred to federal troops in their blue uniforms overthrowing the slave owners - and I don't find the abolition of the slave trade stupid 
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
I don't even understand that one - is a carpool lane where you need two or more people in the car? Does a hearse ever have only the driver in when carrying a coffin?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Nobody could be that polycompetent at so many sciences and Bamboo Technology, and not be able to fix a 3-foot hole in a boat. Whether the Professor arranged for the wreck or not is unknown, but since arriving on the island he takes advantage of the controlled environment to perform fiendishly subtle experiments on the others. When he doesn't directly sabotage escape attempts himself, he uses Gilligan -- who is known to be dangerously susceptible to hypnotic suggestion -- as his fall guy.
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Depressing is your failure to grasp cartoon conventions. For starters, Pluto isn't a dog, he's a dawg. So is Goofy. The difference is that Goofy is a human dawg, whereas Pluto is a dawg dawg (or dawg2, if you're into the new math). You can tell a dawg dawg from a human because the dawg gets naked and walks on all fours and the human doesn't, though admittedly this isn't the acid test it used to be.
Educated people--leastways, educated people who've just chatted with the Disney archivists--know Goofy first appeared anonymously in "Mickey's Revue" (1932), looking essentially as he does today except older. In the wonderful way of cartoons, he then got younger, meanwhile adopting various aliases, including Dippy Dawg, Dippy the Goof, and Mr. Geef before settling on Goofy in "Orphans' Benefit" (1934). So if the guy has an identity crisis, it goes back a long way
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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
He enjoys the "sport" of it or put another way it is the same as asking "Why do fishermen buy boats, poles, & gear, get up at 5:00am to dip a line in the water when they could just go to the Fish Market?" ...& so I will answer both questions.
Wile E. Coyote and those who fish share the same mental capacity, complete fools! The only difference is that the Coyotes endeavours provides amusing stories...ever listen to fishing tales, it's not pretty! If you calculate the price per pound of catch of the weekend fisherman, it wouldn't be a mile away from the per pound price of gold! ...Completely Mental, but hey they enjoy the "sport" of it all, and this is perhaps the motivation for Wile E. Coyote. ...That or his wild game store is running low on roadrunner meat and he is merely trying to stock his shelves. How else could he afford that gear... it must be a tax write off for his business, or he's just mental...these are the ONLY two possible answers!
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Mineral oil.. with a bit of fragrance and Vitamin E.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
That's actually a paradox! Morality is knowing the rules the govern behavior. It is about having an understanding of ethics. Morons are people who don't have a basic understanding of these rules.
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Not sure about the LMNOP bit
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Because to answer the above questions the recital of the song was paramount to the answer given
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Off the top of my head  One of the many thousands of small planets (minor planets) revolving around the Sun, mainly between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter. Newly discovered asteroids are assigned a catalog number and name (such as 433 Eros) only after they are observed often enough to compute an accurate orbit. There are over 73,000 cataloged asteroids. See also Planet.
The majority of asteroids have semi-major axes (mean distances to the Sun; symbolized a) between 2.2 and 3.2 astronomical units (1 AU = distance from Earth to the Sun = 1.496 × 108 km = 9.3 × 107 mi). However, numerous small asteroids orbit between Venus and Mars, and two large groups, the Trojan asteroids, orbit at Jupiter's distance from the Sun. See also Trojan asteroids.
In 1992, the first of the trans-Neptunian “asteroids” was discovered. Called Kuiper Belt objects (KBOs), about 900 had been found by mid-2004. They represent a population of bodies much more numerous than the main-belt or Trojan asteroids, but are more properly thought of as comets. There are also a modest number of minor planets orbiting the Sun in temporary orbits beyond Jupiter but well inside the Kuiper Belt; they are termed Centaurs. See also Comet; Kuiper Belt.
Most asteroid orbits are more elliptical and inclined to the plane of the ecliptic than the orbits of major planets. A number of small asteroids (Amor objects) cross, but do not intersect, the orbit of Mars, and a few even cross the Earth's orbit (Apollo objects) or orbit inside the Earth's orbit (Aten objects).
Improvements in radar technology make it possible to image small asteroids that pass close to the Earth almost as well as by spacecraft flybys. For more distant asteroids the chief technique used to measure asteroid diameters is radiometry, which compares the brightness of reflected visible sunlight from an asteroid with the brightness of the asteroid's emitted thermal radiation in the infrared. See also Albedo; Infrared astronomy; Occultation.
There are about 30 asteroids larger than 124 mi (200 km) in diameter; about 75% of them are soot black (geometric albedos of 3–5%). Asteroids are much more numerous at smaller sizes, generally following a size distribution characteristic of fragmentation processes, as would be expected if the asteroids were smashing into each other. Indeed, there are so many large asteroids confined in the volume of the asteroid belt that collisions sufficient to fragment all but the larger asteroids occur every few billion years, and much more often for smaller ones. Thus all asteroids have been extensively battered and many are collisional fragments.
Spectra of sunlight reflected from asteroids have shapes, including absorption bands, characteristic of different rock-forming minerals. Combined with the albedo data from radiometry, the spectral colors of surfaces of over 2000 asteroids show that more than three-quarters of them have very low albedos and are composed of carbon-rich material (often with hydrated, or water-rich, minerals). The black asteroids located in the middle and outer parts of the belt (called C type) resemble carbonaceous meteorites, which are believed to be among the most primitive materials in the solar system, little altered since the planets were forming. The black asteroids near the outer edge of the main belt have a reddish tinge and are not represented by known meteorites on the Earth; they are called P types, and may be even richer in organic components. Still farther out, many of the Trojans are even redder and more mysterious; they are termed D types. Closer to the inner edge of the belt, most asteroids are so-called S types, characterized by moderately high albedos and by absorption bands due to the common silicate minerals pyroxene and olivine. They also contain considerable metal, and probably are akin to either the stony-iron meteorites or the ordinary chondritic meteorites. The general progression of asteroid compositions is thought to reflect the variation with distance from the Sun in the composition of the original nebular dust from which the planets were formed. See also Cosmochemistry; Meteorite; Solar system.
Apollo, Amor, and Aten asteroids are of special interest, particularly because they stand a chance of striking the Earth. Indeed, Meteor Crater (Arizona), and other craters on the Earth and the Moon, testify to the potential for collisions with near-Earth asteroids. Many scientists believe that just such a collision 6.5 × 107 years ago rendered most species of life, including the dinosaurs, extinct. A huge, eroded crater of that age on the Yucatán peninsula in Mexico must have been caused by the impact of an asteroid or comet about 10 mi (16 km) in diameter. In 1908, a small asteroid, perhaps 160 ft (50 m) across, exploded over the Tunguska region of Siberia with energy equivalent to 15 megatons of TNT. Only about one-third of the potentially threatening objects have been discovered so far.
After some tens of millions of years, most of the current crop of near-Earth asteroids will have struck the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, or one of the other inner planets, or will have been ejected from the solar system. Most are probably fragments of main-belt asteroids, traveling in chaotic orbits, just like their smaller cousins, the meteorites.
Current cosmogonical models for the origin of planets involve accretion from myriads of asteroidlike planetesimals. It is likely that asteroids are a remnant of the planetesimals that failed to accrete into a planet between Mars and Jupiter. Perhaps bombardment of the asteroid zone by large planetesimals scattered from massive, nearby Jupiter increased the relative velocities of asteroids to the present value of 3 mi/s (5 km/s) so that asteroids fragment rather than accrete when they meet each other. Instead of forming a planet, the asteroids have been smashing each other to bits.
Evidently some asteroids of primitive, nonvolatile solar composition were heated within the first few hundred million years after the origin of the solar system, perhaps by the solar wind or extinct radionuclides, and they melted. While the unmelted, weak, C-type asteroids may have been depleted by a large factor by collisions, most of the strong stony-iron cores of the melted proto-asteroids have survived; perhaps they are among the M- and S-type asteroids observed today. The asteroids still collide and fragment, occasionally spraying the inner solar system with chips that produce craters or fall as meteorites.
Hemorrhoids (also called piles) can be divided into two kinds, internal and external. Internal hemorrhoids lie inside the anus or lower rectum, beneath the anal or rectal lining. External hemorrhoids lie outside the anal opening. Both kinds can be present at the same time.
Hemorrhoids are a very common medical complaint. More than 75% of Americans have hemorrhoids at some point in their lives, typically after age 30. Pregnant women often develop hemorrhoids, but the condition usually clears up after childbirth. Men are more likely than women to suffer from hemorrhoids that require professional medical treatment.
And when you say why are THEY - I assume you are referring to the word OID which is (Object IDentifier) A permanent number assigned to an object for storage (persistence). It is typically a long integer, such as 128 bits, that can be computed using various methods to create a unique number. It functions in a similar manner to the way a key field in a relational database record uniquely identifies that record in a table and thus makes the question invalid 
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Trying blowing up his arse for how mad he can get (err...ask Kev about that one) - alternatively just have the dog put down (or put your electric window up and see if the fucker wants to put its head out of the window next time)
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BOXYS BAR - LIQUER UP FRONT AND POKER IN THE REAR
Last edited by cardboardbox?Youwerelucky on Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:00 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Some good ones there
