Tommo
Resident Witch
Joined: 07 May 2007
Posts: 1837
Location: Leeds
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 Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:47 am Post subject: Essex Girls!! |
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An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. Howmany children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Essex girl.
"10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne,Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne." "Doesn'tthat get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if
they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YERDINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What ifyou want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council
worker. "That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use theirsurnames."
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment onthe counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she
says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies."This time it's mayonnaise."
Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped andbleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you somequestions?"Girl: "OK"Medic: "What's your name?"Girl: " Sharon ."Medic: "OK Sharon , is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"Sharon: "Bleeding Romford, mate."
An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It washer boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!""It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's f*cking hundredsof them!"
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car tillshe's lying flat out on the ground.Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"Sharon: "Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl noticessomething strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She
says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one ofyour wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?" TheIrish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well,
I'm a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me rightfoot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot" "Cor blimey", exclaimsthe Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers'ave got C&A on them!"_________________ 
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